If you’re looking after an ageing parent, partner or friend, chances are their needs come first every single day, and your own quietly slip to the bottom of the list. Practising self-care for family carers can feel almost impossible when there’s always one more appointment, one more meal, or one more worry to manage. Yet looking after yourself isn’t a luxury or an afterthought. It’s what keeps you well enough to keep caring.
Around 3 million Australians are unpaid carers, and Carers Australia’s national wellbeing survey has found that more than half of them report low wellbeing. If you’re feeling stretched thin, you’re in very good company. Below are realistic, no-guilt ways to find a little time for yourself, even when your days are already full.
1. Remember that self-care for family carers isn’t selfish
This is the mindset shift everything else rests on. Taking time for yourself doesn’t take anything away from the person you love. A rested, healthier you is a better carer, plain and simple. Running on empty, on the other hand, is how small frustrations grow and how tiredness turns into something heavier. Learning to spot the early signs is worth your attention, and our guide to carer burnout warning signs is a good place to start. Giving yourself permission to rest is not a failure. It’s part of doing the job well.
2. Start with five minutes, not five hours
When you’re caring for someone, a full day off can feel like a fantasy. So don’t aim for one. Aim for five minutes. A quiet cup of tea before the house wakes up, a few pages of a book, a short call to a friend, or simply sitting in the sun. These tiny pockets of time add up, and they’re far easier to protect than a whole afternoon. The goal isn’t to escape your life. It’s to give yourself small, regular moments to breathe inside it.
3. Protect your sleep and eat regular meals
Sleep and food are the first things to go when life gets busy, and they’re two of the most important things to guard. Try to keep a loose bedtime routine, wind down away from screens, and rest when the person you care for rests. With meals, keep it simple and forgiving: regular, nourishing food beats skipped meals and grabbing whatever’s quickest. You don’t need to cook elaborate dinners. You just need to eat enough to keep your energy up for the day ahead.
4. Move your body in ways that fit your day
Exercise doesn’t have to mean the gym. A short walk around the block, some gentle stretching, or a bit of gardening all count. Movement lifts your mood, eases tension in your body, and gives you a break from the mental load of caring. If you can, invite the person you care for along for a slow walk. Staying active together can be good for both of you and turns self-care into shared time rather than something you have to sneak away for.
5. Stay connected to the people who matter
Caring can quietly shrink your world. Appointments replace catch-ups, and before long you realise you haven’t spoken to a friend in weeks. Loneliness is one of the biggest challenges carers face, so make staying connected a priority, not an extra. A regular phone call, a coffee with a neighbour, or an online carer group where people understand exactly what you’re going through can make an enormous difference to how you feel.
6. Accept help, and share the load
Many carers are far better at giving help than receiving it. When someone offers to cook a meal, drive to an appointment or sit with your loved one for an hour, say yes. Better still, be specific about what would actually help, so willing family and friends know where to step in. Sharing the load isn’t admitting you can’t cope. It’s building a small team around you so the caring doesn’t rest on one set of shoulders.
7. Take a real break with respite care
Sometimes you need more than five minutes, and that’s exactly what respite is for. Respite care means someone else looks after the person you care for, so you can rest, recharge, attend to your own needs, or simply have a proper break. It might be a few hours a week or a longer stay, and using it doesn’t mean you’ve given up. It means you’re planning ahead so you can keep going. You can learn more about respite care options with Cura and how they fit around your family.
8. Look after your own health, not just theirs
It’s a familiar pattern: you’ll book every appointment for the person you care for and put off your own for months. Try to break it. Keep up with your own GP visits, screenings and any treatment you need, and mention to your doctor that you’re a carer, because your own health genuinely matters. Allied health support like physiotherapy or counselling can help you stay strong and steady too. Cura’s health and wellbeing services are designed to support the whole family, not just the person receiving care.
9. Reach out for free carer support
You don’t have to do this alone, and real support exists for exactly this. Carer Gateway is an Australian Government service offering free counselling, one-on-one coaching, peer support groups and access to respite, all in one place. You can call them on 1800 422 737. Organisations like Dementia Australia also offer free, confidential counselling for families and carers. Reaching out is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.
Frequently asked questions
Why is self-care so important for family carers?
Because you can’t pour from an empty cup. When carers become exhausted or unwell, the person they care for is affected too. Regular self-care helps you manage stress, stay physically healthy, and keep going over the long term. It protects both you and the person you love.
How do I find time for self-care when I’m caring around the clock?
Start small and be realistic. Five or ten minutes of something restful each day is more achievable than a whole afternoon, and it still helps. Where you can, use help from family, friends or respite services to free up longer stretches of time for yourself.
Is it selfish to take a break from caring?
Not at all. Taking a break is a normal, healthy part of caring for someone well. Rest helps you avoid burnout and keeps you able to care for longer. Respite care exists precisely so carers can step back for a while without worry.
What free support is available for carers in Australia?
Carer Gateway offers free counselling, coaching, peer support and respite for unpaid carers, and you can reach it on 1800 422 737. Many condition-specific organisations offer free counselling too, and your GP can point you toward local services and a mental health care plan if you need one.
The bottom line
Caring for someone you love is one of the most generous things a person can do, and it’s also genuinely hard. Looking after yourself isn’t a reward for getting everything else done first. It’s part of the job, and you deserve it. Start with one small change from this list this week, and build from there.
As a not-for-profit provider born out of the Gold Coast community, Cura supports older Australians and their families across the Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Moreton region and Tweed Coast, with a team that speaks more than 65 languages. If you’d like a friendly, no-obligation chat about support for your loved one, so you can find a little more time for yourself, get in touch with our team. We’re here to help.
